A perfectionist's guide to summer
Why summer can feel underwhelming for perfectionists.
I will be traveling tomorrow, and as per usual, there’s a lot on my to-do list that needs to be done and ticked off before the trip. All the check-ins, reservations, prepping the luggage, going over my itinerary, and the nitty-gritty of it all.
I didn’t even know if I’d be able to make it for my weekly Substack post because of piled-up responsibilities and tasks that needed to be tackled until the last minute. But I realized I really don’t want to break my Substack publishing chain.
So here I am writing this to you on a Saturday afternoon, the day before my long travel day. This post will reach you on Wednesday, as usual, when I’m away, somewhere in the northern parts of the U.K.
Meanwhile, the last days of May are here, and I can’t believe we’re leaving spring behind and making our way into summer!
With each month ending and upon the new one starting, I made it a habit to reflect on the past month and write my goals and intentions for the next one.
I love how seasons and months and weeks become placeholders in our lives that help us shape them better and track things more clearly.
On my spring agenda, I had many intentions, some of which I fulfilled, some of which I couldn’t, and some of which have become irrelevant with time anyway.
For starters, I kind of did spring cleaning, but not to the extent I intended. But I enjoyed the spring scenery of flowers as I intended.
And now the end of May feels like the perfect time to sort out my goals and plans for not only the next month of June, but for the whole summer!
The vibrant flowers of spring slowly wilting was the first sign I noticed that pointed towards summer arriving. And though there’s still some time for summer to hit, I’m trying to prepare for it, for what it all will bring.
And hence, here I am, trying to romanticize summer, like I do for all the other seasons. I’m trying to remind myself of the desirable parts of it so I can be motivated to enjoy it to the best of my abilities.
The things I’m most excited about summer are the summer concerts, longer nights, sea vacations, ABBA-infused club nights, wearing flowy dresses, shorts, tank tops, and flip flops.
I’m excited about eating ice cream sorbet in every flavor, having iced coffee on one hand, and Sangria or a Hugo spritz on the other. Having a full supply of iced refreshers, lemonades, and cocktails.
I’m excited about reading books by the beach, eating peaches, grapes, and cherries. Having a soft, glowy tan. The soft summer breeze alleviating the heat, and time moving slower than usual…
When put like this, romanticizing summer looks easy. This romanticization perhaps becomes almost mandatory for me, as if I don’t do this, I’m reminded of my least favorite parts of summer more.
It’s safe to say I have a love-hate relationship with summer.
In summer, I’m not particularly excited about being stuck in the city amidst the concrete buildings and sweltering sun, at 35 °C, because a large chunk of summer also means that, and I feel like that’s something not talked about as much.
When you don’t have constant access to a sea, beach, a watersource, or even a pool, summer doesn’t feel as fun and as romantic as depicted on Pinterest boards. If you’re not constantly on vacation but have to endure summer in the city, then it’s not as fun as portrayed all over social media.
When I’m tucked into my apartment flat and have to do some work in the sweltering heat, I hate summer, but “love” to complain about it. And the worst is having errands at noon, and you have to sweat through it all, and scorch under the relentless hellish sun while dealing with them.
And you know what else I really don’t enjoy? Not being able to go out at noon due to the heat unless you have an urgent job. Being stuck at home, feeling sluggish from all that heat, and not having energy to do much. And when I have to go out at that time, I don’t particularly enjoy the feeling of almost being put in an oven.
But apart from these or underlying these factors, there’s another core reason why I think I can’t fully enjoy summer, and this might be a hot take: because it’s not exactly the season for perfectionists and productivity. What do I mean by that? Here me out:
Summer symbolizes rest and fun, and perhaps my perfectionist, overworking side can’t make peace with the fact that I can’t just sit back, relax, and do nothing, like taking a nap at four in the afternoon because you don’t have much else to do in that heat.
I don’t like the feeling of being trapped inside when I want to go out. It almost makes me feel helpless and not as independent. I want to be on the move, not motionless. I don’t like the weather dictating to me whether I can go out or not.
It’s like as a child, I didn’t like those afternoon naps they wanted you to take at kindergarten or at granny’s summer house. I hated to be slacking and to be idle like that.
This realization made me further realize that I need to work on muting that perfectionistic voice and allow myself to rest and have fun for a bit.
I might have grinded in autumn, winter, and spring, but grinding also needs to be accompanied by rest, or else it leads to burnout.
I believe summer also has a performative side. If you didn’t have a “euro summer” or had ocean dips every morning, and didn’t enliven that perfect summer fantasy, as seen all over your socials feed, then you did it all wrong, or didn’t even experience it.
Because everyone waits for summer all year long, there is this pressure for it to be perfect, and when it’s not even close to that, the feeling of disappointment is inevitable. But maybe what you need is to have summer in your own terms.
Maybe summer acts as a reminder to chill out a bit, prioritize rest, and suppress the need to be productive and do something all the time. It can remind you that you can still be productive, but also rest and have fun at the same time.
This summer, accordingly, I’m intending to go a little less hard on myself, incorporate rest into my days, which can look like taking walks down the beach, plan exciting trips, have chill hangouts with friends, and even doze off for a bit in the afternoon when I want to, without feeling guilty.
This summer, I will try deliberately not to do too much and enjoy the moment.
And I’ll perhaps dream of another Euro summer and try to enliven that life philosophy. I think Mediterranean people are role models for this type of lifestyle, and I will try to mimic them more this summer — I have Aegean/Mediterranean roots too, but from living in a metropolitan city, the productivity-focused side outweighs —.
I aim to feel less guilty about slower days and the slower pace that life embodies during this time of the year, and try to adjust to that rhythm, without fighting it.
Because in the overly stimulated, productivity-ridden world we’re living in, I think this is what most of us need: to normalize doing nothing, being bored, and not being busy all the time. And summer is the perfect time to remind you that.
With that being said, I’m curious about what your spring looked like, and how do you want your summer to feel? Do you have any plans? What excites you about this season?
And are you willing to slow down a bit and enjoy the slower pace of life more this summer?